Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Bird Song

Bird #1: I’m thinking about going south about two weeks early this year … Take the kids to Disney World.

Bird #2: You know, you shouldn’t provoke Mother Nature.

Bird #1: Mother Who?

Bird #2: Mother Nature.

Bird #1: Don’t you believe in G-d?

Bird #2: G-d, Mother Nature … I don’t know. I’m a bird, not a theologian.

Bird #1: What inspires your singing in the morning?

Bird #2: You know, stuff I hear on the radio …

Bird #1: It says in the Psalms of David that animals sing out to G-d in gratitude for creating them: “Let them praise the Name of the Lord, for He commanded and they were created    … sea monsters and all that dwell in the depths … the beast and all cattle, creeping things and winged birds …”

Bird #2: Why should I praise G-d?

Bird #1: He created you. He gave you your sturdy beak, your airy wings and your sleek tail.

Bird #2: Hey, you forgot my cute dimples.

Bird #1: And your cute dimples.

Bird #2: But what has He done for me lately?

Bird #1: He gives you water to drink, twigs and mud for your nest; worms just under the surface after a rain so you can dig them out easily with your beak, the whole beautiful spring;   and that time you bashed into that bay window and injured your beak, well, the Creator made it heal, didn’t He?

Bird #2: But how do I know it was G-d that created all this? Maybe it was Mother Nature.

Bird #1: Well what’s Mother Nature? She’s nature, right? Worms and grass and fields and trees.

Bird #2: Bushes. Don’t forget about bushes.

Bird #1: OK. So let’s look at trees for a second. You know something about trees. Tell me, do you think a tree could create the world – or even another tree?

Bird #2: Are you nuts? Most trees I know couldn’t even make a decent corned beef sandwich.

Bird #1: But why couldn’t a tree make something?

Bird #2: A tree’s just a tree. A tree doesn’t know about much besides trees. How’s it going to make a whole multiverse or whatever?

Bird #1: A tree is limited. A limited creation cannot create another created thing or an entire created world.

Bird #2: So who can? Everything in the world seems pretty limited, especially my talent for bowling.

Bird #1: Everything in the world has a cause that preceded it – except G-d. Nothing created G-d, so nothing limits Him. Only G-d, who is not dependent on Creation, could create a universe out of nothing.

Bird #2: So then what did Mother Nature create?

Bird #1: She didn’t create anything. There is no Mother Nature. That’s just a myth like Santa
Claus, the Lone Ranger and the Great Sparrow.

Bird #2: Somebody made up the Great Sparrow? The Great Sparrow isn’t real? Don’t do this to me.

Bird #1: And the power G-d used to create the world and uses to keep it going is just a tiny, tiny fraction of His absolute power.

Bird #2: Now I feel like praising G-d. How’s this: “G-d you are so good/You created everything
– spring, summer, the flying squirrel, and even tasty food.”

Bird #1: Was that supposed to rhyme?

Bird #2: Yes.

Bird #1: Why don’t you sing one of those songs your mother taught you?

Bird #2: Sure. There’s “Birdsey-birdsey-birdsey-birdsey-birdsey …”

Bird #1: That’s good

Bird #2: Then there’s “Birdsey-oo-birdsey-oo-birdsey-oo-birdsey-oo …”

Bird #1: Excellent.

Bird #2: You know, I’m really singing full-throttle now to my Creator.

Bird #1: “Full-throttle”? Don’t you mean “full-throated”?

Bird #2: Oh, right ... Could I have meant “full-throattled”? ... Anyway, have a safe flight south.

Bird #1: I’d hug you, but my wings are wet.


Bird #2: That’s all right. No problem. You’ll get me next time.

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