Bird Song

Bird #1: I’m thinking about going south about two weeks early this year … Take the kids to Disney World.

Bird #2: You know, you shouldn’t provoke Mother Nature.

Bird #1: Mother Who?

Bird #2: Mother Nature.

Bird #1: Don’t you believe in G-d?

Bird #2: G-d, Mother Nature … I don’t know. I’m a bird, not a theologian.

Bird #1: What inspires your singing in the morning?

Bird #2: You know, stuff I hear on the radio …

Bird #1: It says in the Psalms of David that animals sing out to G-d in gratitude for creating them: “Let them praise the Name of the Lord, for He commanded and they were created … sea monsters and all that dwell in the depths … the beast and all cattle, creeping things and winged birds …”

Bird #2: Why should I praise G-d?

Bird #1: He created you. He gave you your sturdy beak, your airy wings and your sleek tail.

Bird #2: Hey, you forgot my cute dimples.

Bird #1: And your cute dimples.

Bird #2: But what has He done for me lately?

Bird #1: He gives you water to drink, twigs and mud for your nest; worms just under the surface after a rain so you can dig them out easily with your beak, the whole beautiful spring. And that time you bashed into that bay window and injured your beak, well, the Creator made it heal. Didn’t He?

Bird #2: But how do I know it was G-d that created all this? Maybe it was Mother Nature.

Bird #1: Well what’s Mother Nature? She’s nature, right? Worms and grass and fields and trees.

Bird #2: Bushes. Don’t forget about bushes.

Bird #1: OK. So let’s look at trees for a second. You know something about trees. Tell me, do you think a tree could create the world – or even another tree?

Bird #2: Are you nuts? Most trees I know couldn’t even make a decent corned beef sandwich.

Bird #1: But why couldn’t a tree make something?

Bird #2: A tree’s just a tree. A tree doesn’t know about much besides trees. How’s it going to make a whole multiverse or whatever?

Bird #1: A tree is limited. A limited creation cannot create another created thing or an entire created world.

Bird #2: So who can? Everything in the world seems pretty limited, especially my talent for bowling.

Bird #1: Everything in the world has a cause that preceded it – except G-d. Nothing created G-d, so nothing limits Him. Only G-d, who is not dependent on Creation, could create a universe out of nothing.

Bird #2: So then what did Mother Nature create?

Bird #1: She didn’t create anything. There is no Mother Nature. That’s just a myth like Santa Claus, the Lone Ranger and the Great Sparrow.

Bird #2: Somebody made up the Great Sparrow? The Great Sparrow isn’t real? Don’t do this to me.

Bird #1: And the power G-d used to create the world and uses to keep it going is just a tiny, tiny fraction of His absolute power.

Bird #2: Now I feel like praising G-d. How’s this: “G-d you are so good/You created everything – spring, summer, the flying squirrel, and even tasty food.”

Bird #1: Was that supposed to rhyme?

Bird #2: Yes.

Bird #1: Why don’t you sing one of those songs your mother taught you?

Bird #2: Sure. There’s “Birdsey-birdsey-birdsey-birdsey-birdsey …”

Bird #1: That’s good.

Bird #2: Then there’s “Birdsey-oo-birdsey-oo-birdsey-oo-birdsey-oo …”

Bird #1: Excellent.

Bird #2: You know, I’m really singing full-throttle now to my Creator.

Bird #1: “Full-throttle”? Don’t you mean “full-throated”?

Bird #2: Oh, right ... Could I have meant “full-throattled”? ... Anyway, have a safe flight south.

Bird #1: I’d hug you, but my wings are wet.

Bird #2: That’s all right. No problem. You’ll get me next time.